Q: What do West Virginian's and Philadelphian's have in common?

A: Not much.

However, they are linked in my stream of consciousness this afternoon as I watch the Phoenix Coyotes continue do what they've done all year - that is, win games no matter what overwhelming conditions are stacked against them.

But, to the point now. Being a graduate of the University of Pittsburgh, one of my favorite jokes is:

Where was the toothbrush invented?
West Virginia, of course. Had it been invented anywhere else, they'd have called it a teethbrush!

This joke popped into my head as I was taking in the latest Geico commercial with Mike Green and one of the cavemen (you know, where the former is popping a puck into an empty net, and the latter is talking to the camera from the stands). It occurred to me that only a native of the City of Brotherly (Sh)ove could have come up with the idea for this commercial.

Why?
Because no hockey fan base other than Philadelphia's could so readily link together the idea of neanderthals and hockey.

--

PS - Being an economist, another of my favorite jokes is:

How many Marxist economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. The lightbulb has within it the seeds of its own revolution.

NHL Power Rankin's - Year in Review edition

It has been a great inaugural year for the NHL Power Rankin's - following in the footsteps of, and building upon the sturdy franchise name made famous by the NFL Power Rankin's over the past half-decade. I'd like to thank the Academy, and all my loyal listeners...

Let it be known that since Bettman's Nightmare went live, the Rankin's have had this year's edition of the Phoenix Coyotes ranked in the top 5 - making their debut at #3 back in early January. So like Southern hockey or not, you can at least count on the Rankin's to provide you a filter through your bias that enables you to speak intelligently on hockey matters.

The year's final Big Mover award goes to Nashville, which fell 8 spots on losses to Florida, Carolina and the Islanders to close the season. Not the most promising of trends as the Preds enter the playoffs.

All the usual suspects can be seen at the top - except for Pittsburgh, that is. Don't be surprised to see the Penguins make an early exit from the post-season this year. Rankin' 11th going into the post-season with no power play to speak of and sieve-like goaltending has this native 'burgher less than hopeful for a repeat - Rocket Richard trophy or not.

The highest finish for a non-playoff team is St. Louis (#13). They couldn't quite pull of an 08-09 Anaheim run, but they gave it a good fight. On the flip side, Montreal finishes lowest of the 16 post-season entrants, at #20. If I were a Habs fan (or player, for that matter), the prospect of playing Washington in the first round would likely have killed my spirit, too.

Toronto wins the year's Consistency award. Despite Edmonton's presence in the league, the Leafs managed to hold onto the 30th spot in the Rankin's for the lion's share of the year.

Based upon their respective places in the final Rankin's, I'll give the Overachiever award to the Los Angeles Kings - finishing in a surpising 5th place - and the Underachiever award (and oh, how I relish this) to the Philadelphia Flyers. Sorry, but I don't see Chris Pronger bringing the long-elusive gleam of the Cup home to Broad Street despite the hopes, dreams and flat-out guarantees of the Philadelphia phaithful.

1) (1) Phoenix
2) (2) Washington
3) (4) Chicago
4) (5) San Jose
5) (6) Los Angeles
6) (7) Buffalo
7) (8) Detroit
8) (3) Nashville
9) (9) Vancouver
10) (12) New Jersey
11) (10) Pittsburgh
12) (11) Colorado
13) (16) St. Louis
14) (14) Ottawa
15) (15) Anaheim
16) (13) Calgary
17) (18) Boston
18) (19) Dallas
19) (20) Philadelphia
20) (17) Montreal
21) (21) Atlanta
22) (22) NY Rangers
23) (23) Minnesota
24) (24) Florida
25) (26) Carolina
26) (25) NY Islanders
27) (29) Tampa Bay
28) (27) Columbus
29) (28) Edmonton
30) (30) Toronto

NHL Power Rankin's (week of 3/22/10)

Its officially no longer a fluke, ladies and gentlemen (and Flyers fans): The Phoenix Coyotes are for real. For the 2nd straight week, the bane of hockey purists' existence stand atop the completely objective NHL Power Rankin's. They do so convincingly, as well, as the 'yotes rank no lower than 5th out of 30 teams in any of the 5 component indices comprising the Rankin's. Phoenix is on a 9 game winning streak, they lead the Pacific division with less than a dozen games remaining, they continue to win even as the pressure ratchets up as we approach the playoffs, and it is this observer's opinion that they have some of the best goaltending in the game. I'm not picking them to win the West yet, but if they get the right draw...

Nashville (another of those darned Gary Bettman plants designed to destroy Olde Tyme Hockey), takes home this week's Big Mover award, vaulting into the top 5 at #4 - up from 10th spot a week ago. Nashville just beat out their downside counterpart, Ottawa, who slid 5 spots during the week to number 21. Things are not going well in the capital.

Atlanta is also on the move after a home-and-home sweep against the Flyers and their problem-laden netminding condition. It was right before the Olympic break that my models had Atlanta stealing the 8th spot in the East. With Montreal playing well these days, I would pull things together quick if I were Boston & Philly.

1) (1) Phoenix
2) (2) Washington
3) (3) Chicago
4) (10) Nashville
5) (6) Vancouver
6) (5) Los Angeles
7) (4) San Jose
8) (9) Buffalo
9) (7) Colorado
10) (11) Detroit
11) (8) Pittsburgh
12) (12) New Jersey
13) (13) Calgary
14) (17) Montreal
15) (18) Anaheim
16) (15) St. Louis
17) (14) Philadelphia
18) (23) Atlanta
19) (21) Dallas
20) (19) Boston
21) (16) Ottawa
22) (20) Minnesota
23) (23) NY Rangers
24) (24) Florida
25) (25) Carolina
26) (26) NY Islanders
27) (28) Columbus
28) (27) Tampa Bay
29) (29) Edmonton
30) (30) Toronto

Power Rankin's (week of 3/15/10)

There's really no easy way to put this: The Phoenix Coyotes stand alone atop the Power Rankin's.

As the results rolled in throughout the week, and Phoenix maintained their current 5-game winning streak including another shutout win (their 2nd in 4 games), I kept trying to figure out a way to break the news to all the hockey purists who hate the idea of ice hockey being played below the Mason-Dixon Line. The best I could come up with was that Gary Bettman has had this planned all along.

"This is a conspiracy, that's what this is. One. Big. Damn. Conspiracy!"

I figured that I could at least sell this line to Philadelphia phans, who know deep in their collective soul (Glo') that the whole goshdarned thing is one big conspiracy to keep them from celebrating a Stanley Cup homecoming 30 years in the making (well... 34 now going on 35, actually).

Yes, the NHL Power Rankin's have succumbed, and now do the bidding of Gary Bettman and his hatred of the City of Brotherly Love!

Mwahahaha. MWAHAHAHAHA. HA HA HA HA HA!!!!

Just kidding. Its all completely numbers-based, dude. And no, there are no dummy variables involved where 1 = Black & Gold and 0 = Orange & Black.

On a lighter note, be mindful of Montreal's place in the Rankin's. While the Habs have a 5-game winning streak of their own going, and currently hold down a playoff spot, they lie at #17 in the NHL Power Rankin's (i.e., just outside the magical 53.33% of NHL teams that make the post-season each year). Similarly - but in reverse - St. Louis is on this inside looking out, if you will (#15 but 5-points out of the West's 8th seed).

P.S. - The Power Rankin's has Pittsburgh beating Purdue in the NCAA tournament. Remember, you heard it here first.

1) (2) Phoenix
2) (1) Washington
3) (4) Chicago
4) (3) San Jose
5) (5) Los Angeles
6) (8) Vancouver
7) (6) Colorado
8) (7) Pittsburgh
9) (9) Buffalo
10) (12) Nashville
11) (10) Detroit
12) (11) New Jersey
13) (14) Calgary
14) (13) Philadelphia
15) (16) St. Louis
16) (15) Ottawa
17) (18) Montreal
18) (17) Anaheim
19) (19) Boston
20) (21) Minnesota
21) (20) Dallas
22) (23) NY Rangers
23) (22) Atlanta
24) (24) Florida
25) (25) Carolina
26) (27) NY Islanders
27) (26) Tampa Bay
28) (29) Columbus
29) (28) Edmonton
30) (30) Toronto

Power Rankin's (week of 2/15/10)

The Olympic break will give most of the league a well-earned respite for the next couple of weeks. But for now, I give you what you've all been waiting for for 7 whole days, The Power Rankin's - Vancouver Olympics Edition!

The Caps stumbled ever so slightly during the past week after a run bested in the modern day only by the 1993 Pittsburgh Penguins' 17-game win streak. Although the West's top teams could not capitalize to take over the top spot in the Rankin's, the top 3 positions in this week's edition are as close as we have seen them, statistically-speaking.

The Philadelphia Flyers take home this past week's Big Mover award, entering the Olympic Break on a 4-game winning streak and impressing with back-to-back home-and-home sweeps over New Jersey and Montreal. Calgary, on the other hand, fell 5 spots as teams like Ottawa and Philly surged.

Phoenix remains the only team in the NHL to hold a top-10 position in all five component indices of the Power Rankin's. San Jose, however, has crept up to grab the #1 overall spot in the Strength of Victory, Strength of Loss, and Goaltending Quality categories. Throw in Los Angeles, which ranks out of the top 10 in only Goaltending Quality, and Anaheim's and Dallas' battles for the final playoff spot in the West (currently straddling the playoff positioning bubble at 16 & 17 in the Power Rankin's, respectively), and you've got a Pacific Division that really sets up for an exciting finish.

1) (1) Washington
2) (4) San Jose
3) (2) Phoenix
4) (6) Colorado
5) (3) Chicago
6) (5) Los Angeles
7) (7) Buffalo
8) (8) New Jersey
9) (9) Vancouver
10) (12) Ottawa
11) (11) Nashville
12) (16) Philadelphia
13) (15) Detroit
14) (13) Pittsburgh
15) (10) Calgary
16) (14) Anaheim
17) (17) Dallas
18) (20) St. Louis
19) (22) Boston
20) (18) Minnesota
21) (19) Montreal
22) (21) Atlanta
23) (25) NY Rangers
24) (23) Tampa Bay
25) (24) Florida
26) (26) NY Islanders
27) (28) Columbus
28) (27) Carolina
29) (29) Edmonton
30) (30) Toronto

Power Rankin's (week of 1/25/10)

Chicago maintains top spot in this week's edition of The Power Rankin's. Phoenix, though, is rising fast. The Coyotes are the only team in the NHL to sport a top-10 ranking in all 5 contributing elements of the Power Rankin's index.

The past week's movers and shakers come from the Northeast Division. The Ottawa Senators have riden a 6-game win streak to the 15th slot in the Rankin's (up from 22nd last week). Their past week's results including 4 wins - 2 over division rival Boston. The Bruins, on the other hand, plummeted 9 slots to 22nd on the heels of 4 losses for the week, including 2 to the Blue Jackets and the Hurricanes (yuck!).

Sadly for Bettman's Nightmare's administrator, the Rangers remain a bottom-third team in the new week's results.

1) (1) Chicago
2) (3) Phoenix
3) (4) Washington
4) (8) Colorado
5) (7) San Jose
6) (2) Buffalo
7) (5) New Jersey
8) (9) Vancouver
9) (11) Los Angeles
10) (10) Pittsburgh
11) (6) Nashville
12) (12) Calgary
13) (14) Detroit
14) (15) Philadelphia
15) (22) Ottawa
16) (17) Anaheim
17) (19) Montreal
18) (23) Dallas
19) (18) Minnesota
20) (16) St. Louis
21) (20) NY Rangers
22) (13) Boston
23) (24) NY Islanders
24) (25) Florida
25) (21) Atlanta
26) (26) Tampa Bay
27) (27) Edmonton
28) (30) Carolina
29) (28) Columbus
30) (29) Toronto

Power Rankin's (Week of 1/18/10)

Chicago and Buffalo continue to battle it out at the top, with Chicago taking this week's poll position. And despite the hopes and dreams of you so-called hockey purists, Phoenix and Nashville are hanging tough in the top 10.

The week's big upside mover was St. Louis. The Blues shot up 6 spots on the strength of a 3-0 record for the week and a 9-2 goal differential (including 1 shutout).

On the other hand, the week's biggest fall goes to Dallas, which found itself sliding 6 spots on losses to Philadelphia and Montreal, though they did record a shootout win over a thusfar substandard Detroit squad (the validity of replay goals is not included in this index).

Each team's prior-week rankin' is provided in parentheses.

1) (2) Chicago
2) (1) Buffalo
3) (3) Phoenix
4) (5) Washington
5) (4) New Jersey
6) (8) Nashville
7) (7) San Jose
8) (9) Colorado
9) (6) Vancouver
10) (11) Pittsburgh
11) (12) Los Angeles
12) (10) Calgary
13) (13) Boston
14) (14) Detroit
15) (15) Philadelphia
16) (22) St. Louis
17) (18) Anaheim
18) (16) Minnesota
19) (19) Montreal
20) (20) NY Rangers
21) (23) Atlanta
22) (21) Ottawa
23) (17) Dallas
24) (25) NY Islanders
25) (24) Florida
26) (26) Tampa Bay
27) (27) Edmonton
28) (29) Columbus
29) (28) Toronto
30) (30) Carolina