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Wednesday, October 20, 2010

For Those of Us With Lives: Your Weekly NHL Up-To-Speed (10-13-10 to 10-20-10)

Obviously, this is just one big misunderstanding.  That's the Order of Canada, silly!

The News
Rick Rypien did something.

The New Jersey Devils have already split up Ilya Kovalchuk and Zach Parise, a tandem I was pretty suspicious of (Note: look at the comments section) from the start.  Will this solve their problems?  I think what will make the bigger difference is when Brodeur rights the ship.

The Ducks have finally showed some life, but I don't like that their scoring is housed in the top line and they can't seem to stop allowing shots.  They have yet to give up fewer than 30.
Note: And of course, they did it the same day I wrote this...and lost...against the Blue Jackets.  Congrats.

Derek Boogaard apparently has a blog.  Color me surprised that it doesn't involve incomplete sentences and written rendering of fart noises.  One of the first things he did in New York?  Took a tour on the double decker bus.  Next stop?  Climbing the Empire State Building and swatting away helicopters.

I'm not given to stroking my ego too much, but I did post an okay/not bad article on Behind the Net that my mother liked and Gabe put on the front page.  Traditionalists will like it because it advocates outdoor hockey.  Look out for some commenter named Bourque77, though; she/he's mounted an anti-rink crusade.  Because apparently outdoor rinks are "inferior."  What?

Otherwise, water is wet, Megan Fox/Brad Pitt is hot (we are equal-opportunity pervs here), and I'm kicking myself for not getting Steven Stamkos.

One quick note: I mentioned last week that I didn't think Wisniewski's act merited the suspension.  It is pretty easy to make that comment in a hetero society, and it wasn't the right comment.  Thanks to people such as James Gordon (@SensReporter) I can see how mimicking a BJ is homophobic.  I was wrong to downplay it.  I apologize.  Oh, and Wisniewski's a douche.

Watch this freakin' pass and goal at about 5:13; that is what we call "threading the needle":

Avery giving Mike Komisarek a bit of chop suey:

I am utterly Fedotenko.  I've never seen him so upset.

Malkin gets his Bobby Orr on:

In my mind, this was far cooler than the Brent Burns goal.

Two non-hockey videos that were way too funny to let go...

Favre gets one in the "Little Wrangler":

I love a well-refereed game:

Self-Important Thoughts Section
- I, for one, am planning a Maple Leafs parade route.

- Would he call it "Luongo underwear?"

- CrowdWave technology is a great way to forget your goalie is Brian Boucher.

- Vanilla Ice on his new show for Do It Yourself Network: "I'm passionate about renovating homes."  Word to your mother.

- I have to say, I did not expect there to be a site devoted to tubby Val Kilmer.  I think he and Jeff Bridges are switching places, like Jamie Lee Curtis and Lindsey Lohan did a few years back.

Tweets of the Week
"Only 2 more punches on my Subway Club card and I get a free photo of Jared blowing himself"
- Rob Huebel (@robhuebel)

"Is everyone wearing their green ribbons for Escrow Awareness Month?"
- Fake Dan Ellis (@fakedanellis)

"Charlize Theron is filming a movie in the next town over tomorrow & next Tues. Finally God has listened & now I can make my move."
- Puck Daddy's Sean Leahy (@Sean_Leahy) to which I responded "Hopefully it's not Monster 2."

Fantasy Time (Yahoo standard scoring)
Top Goalies last week
Tomas Vokoun - 2 GP, 2 W, 0.00 GAA, 100 SV%, 2 SHO --- 95% owned
Tim Thomas - 2 GP, 2 W, 1.00 GAA, 97.1 SV%, 0 SHO --- 61% owned
Brent Johnson - 3 GP, 3 W, 1.65 GAA, 94.3 SV%, 0 SHO --- 31% owned

Top Left Wings last week
Patrick Sharp - 4 GP, 5 G, 1 A, -1, 0 PIM, 2 PPP, 20 SOG --- 89% owned
Daniel Sedin - 4 GP, 4 G, 2 A, 0, 0 PIM, 3 PPP, 12 SOG --- 100% owned
Bobby Ryan - 3 GP, 1 G, 4 A, 5, 4 PIM, 1 PPP, 8 SOG --- 99% owned

Top Right Wings last week
Corey Perry - 3 GP, 3 G, 3 A, 5, 4 PIM, 3 PPP, 13 SOG --- 99% owned
Chris Stewart - 3 GP, 4 G, 1 A, 0, 9 PIM, 2 PPP, 7 SOG --- 96% owned
Antti Miettinen - 3 GP, 1 G, 3 A, 1, 4 PIM, 3 PPP, 11 SOG --- 9% owned

Top Centers last week
Steven Stamkos - 4 GP, 3 G, 3 A, 2, 6 PIM, 3 PPP, 18 SOG --- 100% owned
Sidney Crosby - 4 GP, 4 G, 3 A, 0, 2 PIM, 4 PPP, 18 SOG --- 100% owned
Ryan Getzlaf - 3 GP, 2 G, 6 A, 5, 0 PIM, 4 PPP, 4 SOG --- 98% owned

Top Defensemen last week
Kris Letang - 4 GP, 1 G, 2 A, 6, 17 PIM, 1 PPP, 9 SOG --- 73% owned
Alex Goligoski - 4 GP, 1 G, 3 A, 2, 2 PIM, 4 PPP, 9 SOG --- 96% owned
Marek Zidlicky - 3 GP, 1 G, 3 A, -1, 2 PIM, 3 PPP, 5 SOG --- 40% owned

Advice: Don't touch the Wild, just like I said don't touch the Islanders last week.  They are like those "Hot Hands" hand warmers: toasty one moment, bags of sand the next.  Most of these are of the "nothing to see here, move along" variety, in part because good players are actually playing good.  That being said, I'd take a shot at Letang if he were available, even if he's not a huge powerplay producer.  He could be.  Step away from the Brent Johnson.

Take the plunge on Tim Thomas if you can, by the way.  The Bruins are kind of a 'tweener team, and they didn't hesitate to hand the reins to Rask when Thomas struggled last year, but Thomas was more a victim of phenomenal (and a bit lucky) goaltending on Rask's part rather than being horrible.  Remember he's only a year removed from the Vezina.

See you around.  RIP David the Gnome.

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