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Wednesday, October 13, 2010

For Those of Us With Lives: Your Weekly NHL Up-To-Speed (10-06-10 to 10-13-10)

This is going to be my main regular contribution during the NHL season.  For the next week or so, we'll be sprinkling in the remaining previews, but then we'll lock into a less exhaustive (for us and you) approach.  The thinking is it saves us both time, without losing pertinent detail.

The News
As you can see, Mike Ribeiro's having a great time in the Lone Star State.  Sporting the orange pajamas after a few too many wine coolers at a Dallas sushi bar, Ribeiro gives us a 21st century interpretation of an ages-old axiom: "Sunday is a day of arrest."  No word if there will be any repercussions; apparently, he was there with his wife and a friend, and he might just have been guilty by association.  Also a part of the group was a guy whose name was Wayne but he spelled it "Wane."  Highly suspicious.  Tuck in your shirt, Mikey.

James Wisniewski mimicked a blowjob to Sean Avery, which means Avery is doing his job as per usual.  It turns out, an act like that equals a suspension for two games.  In other words, this hit by Niklas Hjalmarsson and Wisniewski's BJ are equally bad in the Wheel of Justice.  The argument was that kids watch the games.  My counter-argument is that kids wouldn't know what Wizzer was doing, and if they did they've already been "corrupted."  I think the NFL offers a good template: hit them in the wallet.  Wizzer will lose some money, but haven't the Islanders suffered enough without having to lose another player?

Bunch of kids rocking it hard early in the season:

Jordan Eberle

Sergei Bobrovsky

Derek Stepan

None of these guys are the second coming, but keep an eye out and see where they're at in the next couple of months.  The Oilers in general have looked pretty lively, the Rangers don't believe in giving prospects PT, and I'm starting to think more and more that any good goaltending in Philly is more a function of those defensemen and defensive forwards than it is the guys between the pipes.

Slap fight:

That is the play...of...the week...werrrr!

Self-Important Thoughts Section
- Keith Jones, between periods of the first game (Wild-'Canes), expressed admiration for Mikko Koivu not diving during a high-stick.  Jonesy promptly followed that by noting that he dove all the time.  Followed that by saying "But it's a new league."  I'll give him an 'A' for the introduction, maybe a 'D' for the body, and an 'F' for the conclusion.  Weak sauce, Jonesy

- John Forslund and Billy Jaffe bored the feces out of me on Versus.  You would have thought it was a 0-0 game if you hadn't looked at the scoreboard.

- There was major space in the Stockholm arenas between the fans and the player benches.  Swedes are so friggin' smart.

-'s Matt Cubeta actually uttered the words "[Derek Stepan] could be a nice sleeper playing on a line with Ruslan Fedotenko and Sean Avery."  Yeah, don't break that line up.

- Red Wings, don't tell me you're going to split starts between Howard's Jimmy and Chris Osmediocre.

- One week down, and I've already seen two headlines where somebody's "pair" helped their team to victory.  I'm a child.

- Another gem from Versus: Brian Engblom predicting 50 goals for Phil Kessel, only to be trumped by Jonesy predicting 50 for Bobby Ryan.  And here I was just going to joke about Engblom being on crack...

- Jerry Seinfeld must be tired of seeing all the ways in which his "European carry-all/man purse" joke has been ripped off lately.

- Physics lesson: the Miller Lite vortex only works if the bottle is completely upside down.

Tweets of the Week
"When he retires, all Geno Malkin interviews should go in a museum"
- Puck Daddy's Sean Leahy (@Sean_Leahy)

"stan lee created superheroes for every nhl team. can't wait to see calgary's: soft, overpaid veteran forward man. #nhlsuperheroes"
- Two Line Pass and Puck Daddy's Ryan Lambert (@twolinepass)

Fantasy Time (Yahoo standard scoring)
Top Goalies last week
Nikolai Khabibulin - 2 GP, 2 W, 1.00 GAA, 96.9 SV%, 1 SHO --- 62% owned
Tim Thomas - 1 GP, 1 W, 0.00 GAA, 100.0 SV%, 1 SHO --- 48% owned
Roberto Luongo - 2 GP, 1 W, 0.96 GAA, 97.3 SV%, 0 SHO --- 100% owned

Top Left Wings last week
Alexander Ovechkin - 3 GP, 3 G, 2 A, +2, 4 PIM, 1 PPP, 16 SOG --- 100% owned
Blake Comeau - 2 GP, 3 G, 1 A, +3, 4 PIM, 1 PPP, 8 SOG --- 10% owned
Josh Bailey - 2 GP, 1 G, 3 A, +1, 0 PIM, 2 PPP, 10 SOG --- 10% owned

Top Right Wings last week
Marian Hossa - 3 GP, 3 G, 2 A, +4, 4 PIM, 2 PPP, 11 SOG --- 98% owned
Todd Bertuzzi - 3 GP, 1 G, 4 A, +3, 2 PIM, 0 PPP, 7 SOG --- 24% owned
Johan Franzen - 3 GP, 3 G, 1 A, +3, 0 PIM, 0 PPP, 10 SOG --- 97% owned

Top Centers last week
Derek Roy - 3 GP, 4 G, 1 A, +2, 4 PIM, 1 PPP, 10 SOG --- 87% owned
Pavel Datsyuk - 3 GP, 2 G, 1 A, +2, 5 PIM, 1 PPP, 12 SOG --- 99% owned
Doug Weight - 2 GP, 1 G, 2 A, 0 +/-, 2 PIM, 3 PPP, 6 SOG --- 3% owned

Top Defensemen last week
Nicklas Lidstrom - 3 GP, 0 G, 3 A, +4, 0 PIM, 2 PPP, 8 SOG --- 99% owned
John-Michael Liles - 3 GP, 0 G, 5 A, +4, 0 PIM, 1 PPP, 5 SOG --- 56% owned
Jordan Leopold - 3 GP, 2 G, 2 A, +1, 2 PIM, 1 PPP, 10 SOG --- 26% owned

Advice:  Don't trust the Islanders or Leopold yet; most of those points came in a single game.  The Islanders can't play the Rangers every night (kidding, but seriously, 6 goals?).  Bertuzzi, Khabibulin, and Thomas would make for great speculative adds, if you have the space.

I'll catch you all later.  Watch Versus, they need the money.

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