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Friday, February 26, 2010

The Mighty Tore: Man, Myth, or Norwegian?

The Olympics have been taken by storm by the amazing feat of the Pride of the Fjords, Tore Vikingstad.  I didn't realize it at the time, but when I showed my appreciation for his mighty name I awakened a slumbering beast.  Since then, numerous blog posts have sprung up showing appreciation for the name and the hattie.

His hat trick on February 20th against Switzerland electrified (as you can see, the picture above is a treasure trove of bad puns) the Norwegian team, at least until overtime when they lost.  His one-goal game following the hat trick made us ask "Lord, when will he stop?" (a question quickly answered when we realized Norway went 0-4).

Lest we allow Tore become just a flash-in-a-pan, I want to add some humanity to his now-mythical character.

A 34-year old former Blues 6th round draft pick, Vikingstad has been living it up beating on hockey palookas in the German league.  At 6'4" and 200 lbs of straight-up Scandinavian, he's used his size to muck ze Germans around in a big way, posting 104 points in 85 games over the last two years.  In 2005-06, he received the prestigious Gullpucken, or "Golden Puck," for being the best Norwegian hockey player that year.  Which I guess is a big deal.  In Norway.  Previous winners include Patrick Thoresen, Espen Knutsen, and presumably any Norwegian that ever made it to a level of hockey you could call "professional."

Thanks to the wonderful insight of the Olympics website, we know that as of November 2009 he still enjoyed  "spending time with his family and the outdoors"; no word on whether that is still the case or if he ever chose to live dangerously and mix the two.  I'm hedging my bets on him shaving the unibrow, chucking the wife, and heading to Oslo's hot-spot The Blaa to catch some Vikingstad groupies (call them "Tore-pies") and Friday's performance of a band called The Bitch Boys.


It remains to be seen if this new-found celebrity will lead to any opportunities, but I've seen teams do more desperate things than sign a 34-year old Olympics hero (like, say, sign David Koci).  In fact, I'd like to see it happen, so instead of wasting your time giving him his humanity, how 'bout some action shots?

Give and ye shall receive.

Not quite as intimidating as the Messier Stare.  More goofy than anything.

With any luck, he'll be on the Islanders by March.  In the meantime, he'll make it rain at The Blaa after 4 goals in 4 games.  Be there, or be square, bring your $1 bills.

P.S.  I can just see him now, sipping Tanqueray and grinding with his Tore-pies.  Telling them about his "Tore-pedo."
P.P.S.  He better make sure they're 18, or else he'll be arrested as a "Tore-pedophile."

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